People are ridiculous.

I had to swerve around a hitchhiker standing in the MIDDLE of my lane of a busy street this morning. Understand that he was trying hard to get a ride so he could get out of the pouring rain, but I wonder if he's dead yet.

not sure where he gets it from.

The other day, I went to back-to-school night for the girl's class. She is in a two-teacher classroom. This is our first experience with that... the boy never had one either. Both teachers are very nice. One of the teachers gave the girl a nice compliment: "Your daughter has a great sense of humor!"

I went home and told the husband about this, and the boy overheard. The boy said: "You're welcome."

Funny thing: he's probably right.

Strange family

Yes, we have a strange family. My son is blowing a large conch shell like a shofar while in the bathroom. (shrug) At least he's doing it correctly.

Quotes from the girl

Sometimes spaghettios taste like barf.

(in the same breath as "mmm, these are really good".)

hanging at the beach...

Genius Marketing

The crazy mail-order catalog Hammermacher Schlemmer was recently advertised subtly on Hannah Montana this past week. The episode aired during a 1.5 hr cross-over special with Wizards of Waverly Place and Suite Life on Deck. What was so genius is that the same day that this show aired, we received the newest Hammermacher Schlemmer catalog in the mail. I don't remember the last time we got this catalog, so this timing was pretty darn near perfect and a little blatant. My kids? Now all over this catalog and fascinated with everything in it.

School's out for summer

Today was the last day of school! Kids are excited, and I'm just glad that the craziness of June is halfway over.

It's all about the band (or not)

The girl has chosen her instrument for band next year: the saxophone! Yeah! I love the sax. I was hoping she would pick either sax or trumpet for very selfish reasons: we have both instruments in the house. The sax is courtesy of my wonderful BIL, who hasn't used it in very many years, and the trumpet is courtesy of ... the boy, who much to my chagrin, has chosen NOT to take band next year. I tried and tried to convince him otherwise, but he wasn't having it. It's an elective next year in school, which was very disappointing to me. He was given a choice of many things, including: band, orchestra, chorus, art, woodshop (disguised as "technology and set construction"), home ec (disguised as "family and consumer sciences", Microsoft Office, Photoshop, Microsoft FrontPage, and several others. He could only choose two of the above, and Band counted as both options if you chose that. We argued for a week but I gave in: I didn't want to force him to do it, and I wanted him to enjoy school.
The girl is psyched to play sax though! We'll see how long that lasts - hopefully more than three years.

I love this weather.

Windy, cool, right before the rain. Fast-moving clouds. Spooky moon. Can't beat it. I can sit outside for hours.

I still believe in fairies.

The girl lost a canine tooth today. She came home, proudly showed me the tooth, and said, "How much money will I get for this... MOM? Huh, MOM?"

This made me sad. I mean, I still believe in the tooth fairy, why shouldn't she? I promptly told her that I didn't know what she was talking about, and if she didn't believe in fairies, I guess she wouldn't get any money.

So, when the tooth fairy came to visit, she found a note:

Dear Tooth Fairy, I'm sorry I thought you were mom. I ♥ U.

Much better.

---

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be

I'm baaaack. With cookies.

So, this new year's resolution isn't working out so well. At least I'm back, even if I'm not consistent... never give up!

I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of some yummy cookies that are sitting in my kitchen. The kids wanted to make them, so we did. Why is it that the kids always pick out the recipes that are the WORST for the diet??? These are marshmallow-chocolate-chocolate-chip awesome cookies. I've made them before. Each time, I've posted pictures on flickr. You think we like them?

Speaking of the diet (while I eye the cookies and DON'T eat them)... I have lost 12 lbs and have plateaued, so I'm glad I'm blogging right now instead of eating.

Glad I have not LOST time.

So I watch LOST.
<aside>OMG. I just typed LOSER instead of LOST by mistake. Is that symbolic of anything? </aside>

I was kind of frustrated at the last episode. I watched it (in an airport actually) and was left kind of ... wha??? I was going to blog about it, but then found this blog entry by interlost. Basically says everything I would have, but better. Or maybe even more than I would have, because I don't think I'm this smart.

So, thanks, I just saved some LOST time.

Heh, my son said "cheapass"

Thanks go out to my wonderful SIL and BIL, who bought the boy a slew of awesome games for his 12th bday. I am still having trouble dealing with the number 12... The teens are only a year away.

The games are mostly from Cheapass Games, which produces quality games with no fancy marketing or packaging. When the boy told me that his aunt and uncle got him like 10 games, I said "wow!" but then the boy said, "oh, they are cheapass." Nice. No offense should be taken because we love the games!

We played the non-cheapass game first: Girl Genius The Works. We've played this game before with the SIL and BIL. It is an imaginative card game where you have to get the "cogs" on the board to work together to your benefit. The boy loves it. And kicks my butt every time.

We also played Steam Tunnel several times. This is an abstract strategy scored card game that has some elements of Carcassone, some of Tsuro, and I'm sure other games too. I beat the boy by six points the first time, which just pissed him off. Made him figure out his strategies though, because the second time we played, he more than quadrupled my score. I think I'll be hard-pressed to beat him again. We tried to get the girl involved this time, but she wasn't interested. Next time.

My son owns a duct tape wallet.

The family had a great time on vacation this week. We swam in the humungous indoor waterpark at the Great Wolf Lodge, the kids became Master Magi in the awesome Magiquest game (keeps the kids entertained for HOURS), the girl got a stuffed wolf named Wolfie and we played lots of games together. We've also played:

• Apples to Apples again (who knew how much they would love this game)
• Pathfinder (a maze-searching game from my childhood that still holds water, especially with the boy)
• Set Cubed, a game from the makers of Set that we still aren't entirely thrilled with yet. Set is great, mind you - but the in-laws stole it and the ambiguity of the Set Cubed rules makes us miss the original more.
• Masterpiece, another antique game from the closet in the fun house. It is based upon art auctions, and the girl kicked butt, even though she completely boycotted playing this game and basically was letting me and the boy win every auction.

One thing I found out about my son this weekend that I didn't know: he owns a duct tape wallet. Yep, a wallet made of duct tape.

I've known people who have had duct tape wallets before. They've made themselves, or ordered them from sites like thinkgeek.com. No matter where it came from, the wallet is always geeky. In a good kind of way. I'm proud to say that the boy is just the right kind of geek: smart yet cool and confident at the same time.

What other geek toys does he own that I don't know about yet? He needs to share!

Apples of my eye

We are away at the Great Wolf Lodge and having a great time. The boy found some friends from school here and they spent hours at on the water rides. The girl liked them but wanted to do some exploring as well. She made a stuffed wolf and played some Magi-quest, the crazy game throughout the hotel. After dinner, the boy and the girl spent hours and hours on their own chasing quests and adventures with their funky magic wand.

They came back to the hotel room late (10pm!) and wanted to play a game. We had just bought "Apples to Apples" (Expanded party version) from the "game store" (actually the comic book store, but I know what's important). We had this game at one time in the past, but never opened it. In a moment of desperatation, we regifted it to one of the boy's friends for their birthday party which was about to start. Yeah, never said I did anything on time.

The game is very fun and I hope that the boy's friend liked it! We had a blast comparing and deciding what nouns and verbs best matched the adjectives. We were cracking up for an hour. It was a little challenging playing the adult version with a 9-year-old, but we wanted to make sure the game grew with us rather than buying the kid version. At one point, the adjective to match was "FUNKY", and I had "Austin Powers" in my hand. I have to say that I don't know if there is a better card in the 1,000 cards in this box that would match "funky". But, the girl didn't know who Austin Powers is, so she chose another answer. Feh. Another good one was "FAKE" or something like that. I had two good cards for this: "First Man on the Moon" (I don't really think it was fake but was funny) and "Pro Wrestling" (which is what I played and jabbed at the husband about it - he still watches pro wrestling, which I can't stand). Of course, the funniest moments were the silly ones. There is nothing better than family game night, especially on vacation when you can stay up late.

A little financial support

I was a room parent today for the girl's class party. It wasn't a Valentine's party, it was a "Caring and Sharing" party. I guess that's a PC version of Valentines? Although I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with Valentines in the first place. It's not like they didn't trade valentines, anyway.

The "regular" room parent (i.e. the one who actually does everything normally) brought in a chocolate fountain (how cool is that). They had rice crispy squares (yum), pound cake (yum), strawberries (yum), and pretzels (yum). And soft pretzel hearts (yum!) I said I'd handle the crafts and activities this time because she usually does everything, and I usually am just late.

I didn't want to have a normal room parent party, because you know me, I go overboard in everything. Bingo? Yeah, not for me. Cutting hearts out? Nope. Picture frames? Sorry. I'm a bit abnormal but wanted to something I thought was more fun.

First we made invisible ink and made secret notes. I tried the whole lemon juice thing beforehand but it didn't work out. You need a really really hot heat source - hair dryers, flashlights, and the like didn't work. I didn't want to bring in an iron and definitely not a candle. So, we made the invisible ink out of baking soda and water (equal parts). We wrote notes and rolled them up like scrolls, tied them with little rubber bands, and put them in a container to save for later (when they dried). The ink appears when you paint grape juice on it - the acid in the grape juice reacts with the baking soda base to turn colors. Unfortunately we never got back to the notes because we ran out of time. The class will do it next week.

We then made awesome little pipe cleaner animals to share. We made chameleons, mice, and penguins. We didn't get a chance to make the monkey (with banana) or teddy bears.
Also had a book with some of the other shapes. The group was a little too large, but they all were able to follow with help.
Pipe cleaners rock!

Then we played an awesome team-building activity that I found on PBS's web site. I always did love ZOOM! (0-2-1-3-4)
I gave each kid a plate, a cup, four straws, and a little clay. The object? Build a structure with all of the items. The plate is the only thing that can touch the table. The clay is the only thing that can touch the cup. The person (or team) that built the highest structure that held the most pennies would win. I didn't want to tell them they HAD to share, but I strongly implied that they should help each other and put their tools together. The tricky part was getting them to understand that they should try to make it high off the table AND hold a lot of pennies (rather than one or the other). But each table came up with different very cool solutions, and we all had fun! The "winning" structure was an engineering marvel, it held all the pennies I had (250 of them), and stood eight inches off the table.

The teacher said, "cool, physics!" More architecture and engineering, but glad she liked it!

Ready to GO!!!!

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Sorry for being a woo girl but WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I found my passport - it's been missing for FOUR YEARS. Treasure hunting has PAID OFF ALREADY!! I've been slacking on my New Year's resolution to blog about my treasure hunting, but WOOOOOOOOO, how excited am I that I found it. I have been treasure hunting even though I haven't been blogging. Also today: Found a scrapbook that the girl made in 2006 about all her friends. Very cute - she wants to bring it in to share. But it doesn't trump the PASSPORT. The husband now has to go on a trip. No choice. We have to get his passport - he has no excuses anymore. Where should we go?

I'm like a lightning rod

I went to a funeral service this morning. For the mom of a friend who is also my coleader for the girl's scout troop. I go to things like this and I see the pain on people's faces and it travels right through me immediately. No, I don't just see it on their faces - but I also feel it in the air. I step inside and it's like I'm a lightning rod - the pain all comes straight to me. And hits me square in the gut.

I never met this woman, but I hope that by being there, I was able redirect even a little bit of the hurt from my friend and her family.

Pride and the media

So the girl who is america's top texter seems a bit too proud of herself. She blogs about it, tweets about it, basically shows off about it. Is it a cool thing to spend all of your money on texting? Or, worse, all of your parents money? Hmm, and the media, very bright to put this girl on TV for spending money. Won't other girls say, hey, what a cool thing to be famous for?

Speaking of pride and fame, what's up with Caroline Kennedy? She has to withdraw from the race because of a hint that she wouldn't get the job? She can't come out of the whole thing being the "loser"? Even though she is less qualified than other candidates?

And Merrill Lynch dude: didn't your kindergarten teacher tell you to be kind and share and not to fire people while you decorated your office with government bailout funds?

Wow, I'm blogging about the news and the media. OMG, I'm so sorry, I need to read more people magazine.

So, how long does it take you to get ready for an awards show?

Today's Treasures

Cleaned the basement a little today, again, yeah!

Today I found a book written by a friend/neighbor when our kids went to preschool together. "Dedicated to all the MR.s in the world." This book makes me laugh every time.

Rock Music, Babysitting and Crepes

Random string of thoughts.

Last night, the husband and some friends went to a local German restaurant that has a rathskeller in the basement. We had a blast. We went because a guy from our synagogue was playing in a rock band. The place was packed - I had no idea that so many people in suburbia were clamoring to go out for live music on the weekends. On the other hand, duh.

There was a woman sitting on the side while the band played, bopping along. Ended up that she was one of the singers, but at first we thought she was a "party motivator". You know, one of those girls that come along with the DJ or band that drag people up to the front to dance or sing or just have fun. Within minutes of discussing why she was there, this woman came to our table and chose me to drag up front and play tamborine. And, the husband and my generous friends left me hanging and wouldn't come up with me. Eventually one of them did, but still. Feh.

Two of our friends have a boy and a girl about the same ages as the boy and the girl. Their kids stayed with ours while we were out. This marks the first time that the boy "babysat" with no supervision. He hasn't asked for money yet - let's see if we can get away with this. Exciting - we can go out without paying $9 an hour (!) for a babysitter. Usually that is the most expensive part of the evening.

(I have to rant for a second - when I babysat, I only made $1.50 an hour, sometimes $2. Dammit.)

Anyway, our friend's son is an infamous eater. He told me last night that he expected lots and lots of crepes for breakfast. Nice. But, I love crepes. This boy knows that I'm a sucker for crepes because I make them when we all go to the beach together. So it wasn't a hard sell.

I can eat crepes all day. Savory, sweet, whatever, they are one of my favorite foods. But you can only make one at a time and therefore I'm a slave to the oven when making them. I chose to make a double recipe, too, figuring I'd freeze some. But the kids loaded their crepes up with chocolate chips and ate most of them.

Me, I prefer French crepes, with just lemon and sugar.

We should go out more often.

You Tube beggar

The girl just begged and begged to go onto You Tube. She said she HAD to see a video - it was soooo important and she needed to do it RIGHT NOW.

So, I was curious.

Here is what we watched.

in German:


and in English, and French, and Swedish, and, and and...

These videos have millions of views. I don't get it. I just don't get it.

I must be old.

You shouldn't do it alone.

In my opinion, success is extremely dependent on the ability to ask for help, get help, and accept help.

That's all I have to say today.

Friendly's and The Quiet Game

The kids and I went to Friendly's for dinner today while the husband was coming home from a day working in NYC. The kids adore Friendly's. They socialize and find their friends. They like to do "the walk" where they walk around the restaurant looking for people they know. I cannot tolerate the food at this place. Even the salads are bad. So I can't stand going there, even though the kids love it.

The only food there that is edible is the most deep-fried, unhealthy food. Waffle fries. Chicken fingers in a variety of sauces. Right now there's a special with nine different funky sauces, including Buffalo Bleu Cheese, Sesame Oriental, and Root Beer BBQ. That, along with their normal Honey BBQ, Buffalo sauce, and others, are the only thing that makes going to Friendly's enjoyable.

After Friendly's, we went to the supermarket where the kids were out of control. They were running around and a bit loud. The boy stole an empty shopping cart... who knows if anyone was using it. The boy also wanted to walk around by himself to prove he was "a man." A ridiculous evening, I must say.

To calm them down, on the way home, in the car, I resurrected "The Quiet Game."

We haven't played this game in years. I'm sure every parent has tried it at one point or another, in some form. The rules are basically: Everyone be quiet. First one to make a noise loses. Last one to make a noise, wins. Awesome game for excited children of parents with headaches.

I used to play where I was the narrator. I used to call play-by-play about the silence, heckling and seeing if anyone would break, or whispering like a pro golf announcer. That worked at one point... the kids loved it. Right now, I just wanted quiet.

So, I said that we ALL were playing the game... starting ... NOW. The boy shut up quickly. The girl was laughing hysterically when I said it, coincidentally (or not so much). She then got a bit frustrated and called the game unfair - begging for a do-over. However, I knew that if I said, "OK," the boy would be thinking he won. So, I couldn't say anything. The girl whined and whined all the way home about it not being fair, and that she wanted to "put on" until Friday (I suppose that was meant to be "postpone".) Almost made me go crazy. But I kept quiet.

We got home (with our groceries and Friendly's ice cream, which we had To Go), and the game was still on. The girl was still whining and the husband was a little annoyed with it. I cleared my throat a little and the boy made an L on his forehead. I shook my head. The game was still going.

I couldn't stand the complaining from the girl and the husband anymore. I eventually put my hand out to the boy in a gesture for a "truce". He knew what I meant and we shook on it. I then answered a question from the girl - and the boy got all cocky and said he was crossing his fingers. He jumped for joy at his "win." He needs to learn to be a better competitor... we all knew that already. Or I won't take him to Friendly's anymore.

Basement treasures

I'm cleaning up some of the basement today.

Yes, partially to find that rectangle CD. But all the treasures have been sitting in random bags and boxes of crap for so long. I'm a packrat and I keep EVERYTHING - from awards to photos to holiday cards to little bits of paper that mean nothing to me anymore. It's time to do something about it.

I almost want to just keep doing this for a whole week nonstop, and take the full week off of work. Not going to happen, unfortunately. But I hereby resolve to do this at least an hour a week, every week, and log some of the treasures I find here on this blog.

Today:

• My speeches I made at both brothers' bar mitzvahs


• A photo of me and some friends at 13 that is hysterical


• Letters from some old friends during college

Yes, cleaning CAN be fun...

Desperately seeking the rectangular CDs

We went to visit an old friend of mine from high school today. On Saturday night, the husband got together with a bunch of old friends from summer camp that he found through Facebook. It got me jealous, so I e-mailed my old friend on Facebook also and we told her we'd stop by.

We hadn't seen her in 11 years, or so. She has two kids that she didn't have then. The girl wasn't born the last time we saw them, either. We had a nice get-together. We talked about college, and our travels, and high school. We talked about an old cassette tape that we had made as kids.

I have been searching the house for hours, since we got home, trying to find that tape. I found the case but not the damn tape. I am not too happy with myself for being so disorganized right now. I WANTED THAT TAPE!!! (Nostalgia got to me).

As an aside, my kids call cassette tapes "rectangluar CDs". They hadn't really seen any before. Ugh. Almost as bad as the rotary phone thing.

OMG this is a PHONE?

My inlaws still have a rotary phone in their house.

You know the kind. Everyone had one. The kind that the phone company rented to our parents and nobody even knew that they were paying by the month for this clunker of a phone.

Well, the girl, she just found it and was like, "what is this?"

Yes, the girl who loves to talk on the phone. Didn't know it was a phone.

"OMG, this is a PHONE? How do I use it? When do I stop pulling this circle? It takes so long to use!"

Sigh. I'm old.

All internet, all the time

Hi. I am addicted to the internet.

I have an aircard. So I can be on the internet whenever I want. I'm in the car on the way to the in-laws, and I need my internet. At the beach, I need the internet. At the airport. Random places where there is no internet, or internet costs money, I need me some internet.

The aircard costs $60 per month. Ridiculous to pay that just to support my addiction.

But I do.

I think I need help.

Your socks are ringing!

We got the boy good this year.

He has been begging for a cell phone for years. All his friends have them. Many of the girl's freaking friends even have them! I don't really understand people buying cell phones for eight-year-olds. Blackberrys and touch screens, even! It's all about the status and nothing about necessity.

/rant

Anyway. So the boy wants a cell phone, but we have been telling both children for years and years and YEARS that they cannot have one until their b'nai mitzvah. That's when they are 13. That was the deal. The kids knew it - it was loud and clear. That didn't stop them from occasionally giving us a jab or a whine or a guilt trip about it. "Wouldn't it be nice if I could just call you?" Yeah, I'd say. When you are THIRTEEN.

We decided to back down on the thirteen thing. The boy is eleven and a half, and we have started leaving him home alone occasionally. There have been instances when we wished he had his own phone. So sometime in November, I bought him a Samsung something-or-other. With camera, GPS, and no texting. Just the right package for an 11-year-old. Of course, I got myself a swanky new Motorola Krave which I love, but that's a different story. I put the phone away in a closet until Chanukah time. The boy saw my new Krave and gave me a zing: "Is that for me?!?!" Uh, no. Sorry, kid.

I prepped the girl. I figured if the boy got a phone for Chanukah and she wasn't prepared, she'd be PISSED. So one day, she was giving her normal whine. "My friends all have cell phones, do I HAVE to wait until I'm 13? Can I have one at 12?" This time I said, "How about eleven-and-a-half?" She was shocked. Speechless, even. She excitedly said, "REALLY?" So I responded, "Well, yes, but you know what that means, right?" She immediately responded, "The boy is getting a cell phone now?" She's a smart one, that girl. But she was prepared and not jealous at all, knowing she has only three years until her phone instead of five.

Our family has a tradition when opening Chanukah presents. We always give eight presents, all laid out on the fireplace on the first day, and they can choose which of them to open each night. One of the presents is ALWAYS bags of socks, and another present is ALWAYS underwear. That's just a thing - my parents did it to me too, so the tradition carries forward.

The boy has his own tradition... he feels out the presents for the SOCKS, and opens them the first night. The second night, he feels out the underwear. "I just want to get it over with," he says. He wants to save the "big" present for last. The girl, on the other hand, will go for the big present first so she can enjoy it.

A week before Chanukah, I took the phone out of the box. I turned it on. I stuck the phone in one of the rolled-up SOCKS. I wrapped the package of socks. I wrapped the rest of the box that formerly contained the phone. I put both in the pile of gifts by the fireplace, ready for Chanukah. I figured the boy would choose the socks, open them, say "Great, I got the socks." Then I would call the phone and let those socks ring.

Awesome, right?

Well, a few days before Chanukah, the pile of gifts began to ring. Wrong number, or someone who used to have that number, or something. OMG, I grabbed those wrapped socks and ran. Thankfully the boy did not hear it.

I turned off the phone, put it back in the socks, and put the package back in the pile. I had to be more stealth about this.

The first night of Chanukah this year was spent at my BIL and SIL's house. They live hours away in Massachusetts, but I decided to schlep up all eight of the presents for each of the kids along with all of the in-law gifts.

It was time to give the kids their presents. I secretly grabbed the socks and opened the small hole in the wrapping paper that I had left. I turned on the phone and put it back. I then presented the kids with the bags full of their own gifts, and asked them to each pick one.

The girl, as expected, picked what would be the best of her choices from how it looked wrapped. And the boy? Yep, he felt all of the packages, shook them all, weeded out the underwear and socks, weighed them against each other in each of his hands, and chose... the socks. Yeah! How predictable are my kids!! I was so excited.

He unwraps the socks and yells "YEAH!! I GOT SOCKS!!! AWESOME!!"

Ring.

Confusion on his face. He looks at me thinking it's my Krave ringing, since I'm holding it.

Ring.

He looks at me again. Out of the socks falls the phone on the floor.

Ring.

DUDE, I wish I wasn't calling him at that second so I could get a pic of his face. I should have had someone else set up with a camera.

Ring.

He grabs the phone from the floor and answers it. "Whose phone is this?" he says.

I say: "Took you long enough for you to answer your phone!"

Priceless.

I "did a mitzvah" with this gift

In late November, my dad asked me to Google a bunch of things for him. You have to understand that my dad isn't tech savvy. Let me be very clear here: My dad won't touch a computer. It's like it will give him some kind of techno virus. He avoids computers like the plague. But, that doesn't stop him from asking someone to use them for him.

Dad wanted me to Google things about his old neighborhood in the Bronx. He threw out a bunch of things that I was able to find, like "Sholem Aleichem Cooperative" (or sholem aleichem houses). I learned a lot more about that old neighborhood, which up until then I had only known as "Giles Place". I read some passages to my dad which made him very happy. Even after my dad left, I kept googling and looking at Google Books passages to learn about where his family had come from.

I ordered some of those books off of Amazon as a Chanukah gift, but they only had a sentence or two about these communities. There wasn't much else available. My mom said my dad woke up the next morning singing some old neighborhood songs he remembered from when he was little. I knew I had to find more. I kept digging, and I'm glad I did. I eventually found out that the Puffin Foundation was sponsoring a film about living in the "Coops" which would be screened at the NY Jewish Film Festival at the Lincoln Center. In January. I wrote to the producer, telling her my dad's story, and she told me that tickets would be on sale soon. It was the perfect gift for my dad and his sister (my aunt)... the ability to see this film with the producer and other people from the neighborhood.

My dad, my mom and dad's sister all went to see the screening yesterday: At Home In Utopia. It will be on PBS in May-ish. The gift was better than I could have imaginined... my aunt and my dad each called me raving about it. They had a ball. They even saw an old photo of their Yiddish teacher in the movie - they were amazed. They'll be watching it again on PBS and I should probably buy the DVD. They want to e-mail the producer and tell her more of their stories.

That gift was a good thing. And maybe, just maybe, dad will try a Google (or even an e-mail) on his own.

Nah.

Here's my job application.

Dear Australian state of Queensland tourism board,
I hereby submit my application for this job. I don't think you should look for anyone to take the position anymore - I'm the perfect candidate.

Qualifications:

1. I'm not glamorous. I'm not young, not skinny, and not beauteous. I'm low maintenance and just me. But hey, I was a homecoming queen once, does that count for anything?


2. I'm not charismatic. I'm plain and boring. I don't have exciting stories. I'm not a comedian.


3. I'm not a good writer. I've been blogging just about every day for the past month or so, but basically talk about nothing.


4. I come with baggage. I've got a husband and two kids. They have to come with me... six months is a long time to be without them. Oh, and my husband needs to have a job too.


5. I'm up for every adventure. Snorkling? SCUBA? Hiking? Zorbing? Bungee? Alligator wrestling? Whatever, I'll do it. And that's the truth.

Well, that's it. Think I can have the job? Yeah, didn't think so.
Love, just me

Many times tables

The girl is good in math. Not like the boy, but she is good. But, she is distracted. She's too busy socializing, and flirting, and thinking about other things to be bothered with the timed multiplication problems.

Her teacher gives her sheets of about 60+ multiplication questions. She times the kids for one minute to see how many they can do. They are supposed to do them in order. Last month, the girl came home with sheets that had only six done. Once, even only two. Two! Two in 60 seconds. That's a "B" or "Beginner", as opposed to "D" for "Developing" or "S" for "Secure". I know she can do better than that. She just psychs herself out. She also had herself convinced that she does not need to memorize, and she calculates every time.

Over winter break, I drilled her over and over again. Every day. Every chance I got. She got a little angry with me at one point. But she memorized. And now she's up to 26, which is "S". Go girlfriend! We'll be drilling more often!

Chowda Dreams

We've been staying at the same beach house every year for the past four years. We go with our close friends who have kids with similar ages. It's been a good ride. We love the fact that it's a block and a half from the beach, and that it's close to the "main street", and that there is a screened in porch. We also love the fact that the kids have a large bedroom, and another room that is very large that lets them have a play area. We love that it's within walking distance to the local "chowda" place where we pick up many quarts of New England Clam Chowder. Yum. We're addicted to the chowder.

It's a nice house and all, but it has its problems. The A/C isn't powerful enough and does not get to the bedrooms, especially with the doors closed. It's small and the furniture is old. Yeah, it's a block and a half from the beach - but we could be EVEN CLOSER. But most of all, I like variety. Change. New things. Adventure. The husband likes the same-old-same-old. Security blankets. So I was glad that he was OK with looking into something new this year.

I took a trip with my friend down to the beach today. I have never been to the beach in the wintertime. Can you say ghost town? Kind of spooky. Our favorite weird thing: A diner with a HUGE sign that said "OPEN YEAR ROUND", but on the door was hanging a red "CLOSED" sign. Nice.

We looked at five houses with the realtor. None were perfect. After the fourth house, we were starting to feel that we would not be able to find a house better than the old standby (in our price range, anyway). The fifth house gave us some hope. It didn't have that big playroom, or a screened in porch. It was pretty far from the "main drag", and didn't have a pool or hot tub or anything cool like that. But it was across the street from the beach, and had a view from the roof, even. It was much newer and cleaner, and had A/Cs in every room. It had TWO outdoor showers with changing stalls. We might book it.

The important part, though? We got some chowder. And brought some quarts home, too.

Don't ever never ever mess around with my beans.

The husband did a lot of his holiday shopping this year at Linens 'n Things, the home goods store that is bankrupt and getting rid of everything on its floors. He bought stuff while there was still stuff there, at 30% off or something. Now that they are at 75% off, they are selling the things that nobody would be caught dead with.

Anyway. One of the things that he got for me was a big jar of Jelly Belly jelly beans. Which was eeeeeeeeeevil of him. I adore Jelly Bellies. Which makes it all the more difficult to HAVE Jelly Bellies in the same house as my new Wii Fit.

So, I brought the evil beans into my office and plopped them on my desk. Hoping others would eat them. And they do, but just not enough. EAT MORE people, so I don't eat them! I know every flavor by sight, and they are truly addicting. Now, just to bring myself to leave them on the table OUTSIDE my office... that way even more people will eat them. I can't do that just yet. I have to savor the view.

I love almost all of them. Especially when I can put them together in recipes. Don't laugh at me! The chocolate goes well with almost everything. And PB&J is cool too.

Absolute faves, in no particular order:


Least popular/Bottom of the Barrel:


Lesson: always avoid the Bertie Botts, or Bean Boozled flavors, like Pencil Shavings, Earwax, Vomit and Booger. Nice.

Resolution Accumulation

I tend to make up New Year's resolutions as they come up, throughout the year. I don't make them on January 1st or December 31st like a normal person. It can be November, and I'll come up with a new resolution to suit whatever is going on. And then I'll try to keep up with it, for maybe a week or so, and then it will be over.

Well, I've accumulated three resolutions over the past week or so already, and I'm proud to announce that I'm doing pretty good keeping them up. I'm going to try to add a measurable component to these resolutions, too.

Resolutions:

1. Blog. Often. Let's say twice a week. Yay, I've blogged every day since I've started again. And sometimes more than once a day! Who cares if I don't have many visitors... I'm doing this for me. Well, I did have a bunch of visitors when I talked about Superman's Cape. So maybe there's something to those superheroes after all. But I digress.
2. Speak slowly and softly. Going to be hard to make this one measurable without something monitoring my decibals. Yeah, I'm >40 years old and still don't know how to control my voice. This one is a little tougher but I'm trying.
3. Get the boy on the bus every day. Sometimes we miss the bus. It's usually my fault. But we've made it all week, wooooo! But, today was just in the knick of time, and I came back to the house to finish getting ready for work, and instead I'm blogging. I think I smell the next resolution:
4. Work on the procrastination.

I hate peas, even when they are French.

I came home from work and the boy handed me a box of rotini pasta. "Here," he said, "Make this." Nice. I told him I couldn't make just "that" and he asked for mac & cheese. I said no, because we had four-cheese risotto just yesterday. So, what to do?

I pulled out the pasta cookbook and handed it to the boy. "Here," I said, "Pick something." He whined a bit about being hungry and not wanting to look for a recipe, but he quickly found one that met his needs of

• (a) fast,
• (b) easy,
• (c) food he liked, and
• (d) using rotini pasta

The recipe? Pasta with shrimp and petit pois.

What's petit pois, you say? Answer: Petite peas.

I hate peas.

Hate.

You don't even understand how serious I am when I say that. I gag on the thought of peas. I DESPISE peas, ever since I was a kid and my mom made them all the time. The smell makes me want to leave the room and throw up. But, the boy wanted this recipe, and by some insanely random coincidence, I had both shrimp and petite peas in the freezer.

What kind of idiot keeps peas in her freezer when she can't stand them? That would be me, the mom who knows that it's one of the only vegetables that her kids will eat, and also the mom that knows that frozen peas are ever so SLIGHTLY more tolerable than the most evil food that this world has ever known: canned peas.

So off we go, the boy and I, making pasta and shrimp and petit pois. Olive oil and butter and white wine, salt and pepper and even saffron. The boy got really into it and wouldn't even let me help. This made me extremely happy, as I could remain as far from the peas as physically possible.

The meal was good, and I tried very hard to be ever so subtle about picking out my peas. I even ate a couple by mistake. The pasta did taste very pea-like, but I survived. And all in all, it was worth it because it was fun making dinner with the boy.

Lesson: If you cannot stand peas, but want to cook with them so your kids eat vegetables, DO NOT use rotini pasta because the peas really get stuck in there. Yuk.

Hardly working?

I'm working late tonight, and of course procrastinating. It's been a while since I've had to work late so it's almost like it's nostalgic. Anyway. My mind wandered and remembered that I had tomatoes in the fridge that were probably in their last day of good-ness. I not-so-coincidentally also had scallions, cilantro, a hot pepper, and limes. Add some salt and I've whipped up the world's bestest snack food: salsa! I love it so much that I eat it plain.

And now we return you to your originally scheduled programming. aka: Back to work before Obama is president.

Risotto snob

Not sure when it happened, but I became a risotto snob. I love good risotto, but never can seem to find it made as well as I'd like. I just made some for dinner which was pretty good (Four Cheese Risotto, with Gorgonzola, Parmesan, Gouda and we didn't have the fourth kind...) It just never is as creamy as it should be. The recipes always say that the rice ends up creamy, but somehow for me it never does. Maybe I'm buying cheap rice. Maybe I'm not heating the stock up enough before adding it to the rice. Maybe the temperature is too high. I dunno, but arborio rice doesn't seem to be my friend. What am I doing wrong?

Cookies in a box: not so much.

I ended up making 10 of the origami boxes mentioned earlier this week. I put in tissue paper and filled them with three different things:

1. Sugared Spiced Nuts, yum, with a ridiculous combination of cinnamon, ginger, curry and cayenne.
2. Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies
, made as per the recipe, except with mini chips and less nutmeg
3. Pretzel Hugs: take Hershey's Hugs and put them on pretzel snaps, bake at 250 until hugs start to melt, top with toffee or m&ms, then cool.

So, they looked really pretty (but didn't get a chance to take a photo).

But, I brought them into the office on the first day back after holidays and had several issues with them:

1. Someone thought I was dumping leftover treats on them. I had to explain to everyone that indeed it was all freshly made.
2. People are SICK of treats by January 5th. One person even dumped the entire thing (origami box and all) outside his office so someone else could enjoy. Sigh.

Lesson: next time, be on time and make office gifts in December.

Somehow, it smells political.

So, I have to do a major job at work before the inauguration on the 20th. Odd, since we can't really participate in politics or lobbying or any kind of political support. But, I'm being told that I have to basically redo EVERYTHING in preparation for the new administration. Not that it's a bad thing... it's just kind of ... interesting. And makes my life miserable for about the next ten days.

Just when I thought I got away from the deadlines...

The fridge is fixed.

The sub-zero guy came over. He's a good guy, but he charged us $75 for a $58 part (which I found on the internet before he came). He also charged $115 for a partial hour of work.

Could have, should have done it ourselves, but wimped out. And didn't want to wait to order the part.

Note to self: next time just do it yourself if you know what needs to be done.

Sub-standard sub-zero

Excuse the rant that follows.

The fridge is making LOUD LOUD LOUD noises from the interior fan - boo. The whole house shakes. Seriously. My bedroom is above the kitchen and it's like a cheap hotel that you can put quarters into the bed. It looks like an unbalanced interior fan - when the fridge is open and the fan stops, no noise. But I'm not sure how to fix this fan without taking the fridge apart and replacing it. And we can't leave the fridge door open.

We made the fan stop spinning for the time being, just to have some kind of peace and quiet. I'm remembering the last time we had a sub-zero guy come by, and he definitely didn't know what he was doing and was going to charge us anyway. It was a weird situation but it left my fridge compressor much louder than it needs to be. And I thought that was loud, until this freaking fan started up.

We've gotten nasty service people in the past and it makes me sick to my stomach to have to call someone. This guy goes on a long rant about his competitors and I wish I knew how find a honest person to be my best friend and come and fix my fridge. Reminds me of the time I had a plumber come by, say he fixed the toilet, paid him, and the problem came back two hours later. I called him to come back, and he "fixed it" again - and then had the gall to ask me to get paid again, the full amount. Dude. Get over yourself. I kicked him out of my house and didn't pay him the second time. He had this look on his face like, "How rude!"

We called a fridge guy we've had some luck with in the past... $115 per hour plus parts. Even on a Sunday - so we'll see what happens.

Avast, ye scurvies.

In a previous post, I mentioned some games we got this year for Chanukah. We played Pirate's Cove today... and it was very fun. You get to be a pirate, and travel, battle, plunder, and strive for glory. The boy was doing very well until I wiped out his poor parrot. Arr, that freaking parrot was helping the boy carry way more treasure than he deserved, and he buried it all! I was having a hard time winning battles, and didn't want to flee for fear of mutiny. The husband ended up beating the boy by a tiny bit of fame. The girl did not play, but read and slept beside us on the couch. We'll definitely be playing this one again soon... and teaching the girl.

Welcome to tofu

I made my first-ever tofu dinner tonight: Introducing Tofu and Broccoli stir-fry.


I had no idea if the kids would eat it. I mean, they actually like tofu, a very cool fact that I discovered recently... they ate it at a sushi restaurant when it was found in miso soup. But, it didn't look as appetizing when served in my house.

I decided to make stir fry because it's easy and also I knew that the flavors went well with tofu. I kind of made it up as I went along - a flaw I have because I usually screw things up that way. But it worked out this time. Broccoli and onions and scallions are pretty safe in my house. I cut the tofu into 1/2" pieces and kind of "seared" it to make it look good. I served it over fried rice made with egg, soy sauce and a little sugar. The black sesame seeds made it look a little prettier... to me, anyway.

At first, the girl said "What IS this?" I told her, "It's tofu, I know you like tofu." I got rave reviews from her about it (initially) - she said she especially liked the broccoli and the rice. Yeah, progress.

The boy came in later, looked at it and said "What IS this?" Ok, it's clear my kids are consistent. I said, "It's tofu, I know you like tofu." (I can be consistent too). The boy didn't say much, but he ate it all. Woo!

The husband ate it all also. Excellent, that's 4 for 4.

When I tried to get the girl to eat more tofu, she did say, "The tofu wasn't my favorite part. Next time, don't buy the humungous tofu pieces, buy the tiny pieces and make it in soup."

So, I will. Or maybe we'll just go for sushi.

Still glad they made it

Oh well, the Bulls lost - but glad they made it to the International Bowl anyway.

An awesome gift after 50 years

I dug up my old Buffalo sweatshirt from the basement as the UB Bulls play their first-ever bowl game. I thought it was their first-ever invitation also. What I didn't know was that the UB Bulls actually were invited to a bowl game 50 years ago, in 1958. The team unanimously turned down that invitation and didn't get to play. The reason? There were two black players on the team, and the bowl game was in Florida, which still had segregation laws.

What an awesome, fitting tribute if the Bulls can win the first bowl game they've been invited to since then... 50 years later. Very cool not only that UB is on ESPN(2), but also that many of the players from the 1958 game are there today, including Willie Evans.

Chocolate in a box

I was a bad girl and didn't bring gifts for my coworkers this year before the holidays. I usually do. However, it's important to note that I only got gifts from two coworkers, so I guess this was a trend. Now that I think about it, I didn't get many last year either, but that's not what it's all about.

So, I'm making some candies and desserts to bring in on Monday. I'll wrap them up using funky origami boxes made out of my long-unused scrapbooking paper. Not the good paper, but the big pad of designs that I never used. The good paper will be saved for one day when I actually scrapbook again :)



Truth be told, scrapbooking paper makes awesome origami paper!

Gingerbread Alien

The girl made this "gingerbread alien" at the family holiday party at work. She has to make things complicated.

Playing hooky from the family

I never do the girls night out thing. Not that I'm not up for it - I always am! - but never can synch schedules with others to actually get out. Today, two other ladies and I decided to run off to a matinee, and ended up staying out later than expected. It was fun, even if the husbands weren't too thrilled.

We saw "Twilight", very popular with teen girls lately, and it was better than I thought it would be. It's a hit book series, but I normally wouldn't know that because, well, I just don't read. The husband wanted to take the boy to this movie because it was about vampires, but I talked him out of it because mostly, it's a love story. But it had enough meat to keep me interested in the movie. But, what's up with vampires and baseball??

We then did something I never did before: We went to a "double feature". I know I've always been a goodie-two-shoes but I'm not quite sure why I never strolled in to see a second movie after watching a first. I mean, my parents do it, even! Anyway, I can check that off my "to do before I die" list, which I've been keeping for the past 20 years.

Armed with a second small bag of popcorn (which cost almost FREAKING $4), we went into the next theater. Not too difficult considering there are move than TWENTY movies playing at once in this theater. I texted the husband to let him know why we weren't coming back. Of course, he doesn't really text, so I ended up calling him to make sure he got the message.

The second movie we chose was "Seven Pounds". This movie was also mostly a love story. I had seen a short preview on Leno or something or other, but didn't really know what I was getting into. A very haunting movie about (*****SPOILER*****) why you shouldn't use your blackberry while driving. Or why you shouldn't work too much. Or why you should enjoy your life, every moment of it. I cry at everything, including commercials, so I was bawling for approximately 1/3 of this film. Will Smith rocks. And I'm going to lay off the blackberry in the car.

(***** END SPOILER *****)

The ladies and I continued to stay out and went for dinner at one of my favorite pan-asian places. Yum, roti canai, dumplings, thai spring rolls, stuffed eggplant, and more. Special sushi rolls next time!

Came home to the husband and kids watching scary movies on TV. Curled up on the couch with them - can't beat it!

Does blogging slow down Father Time?

Well, does it? I'm counting on that premise. I have the worst memory in the world, and although I've blogged on and off over the years, it hasn't been enough to keep my kids from growing up too fast.

Blogging regulary is my #1 resolution. I'm counting on it to allow me to savor every moment and enjoy the little things in life. Time goes by too fast and I have lost too much of it by not writing it down!

In honor of New Year's and making resolutions, I present to you one of my old blogs. I wrote it as a self-affirmation when going through a major job and life change. It was a very difficult time in my life, and I'm a better person from having gone through it. I've gotten much better since then, but it still applies, every day.